I've Got This

How can I receive when I walk around with my guards up or my arms pushing my good away.  Many of us walk around with our guards up, energetically.  I see it when someone offers to help me, and my "independent spirit" says, "No, thank you.  I've got it."  I noticed it a lot at Thanksgiving when the offer to help family with different tasks were rejected because they didn't want "to be any trouble." They would do it themselves.  I have noticed myself refusing to be helped in the simplest of tasks. "No, thank you. I've got this." Sometimes, this "independent spirit" denies a person to give a blessing and denies a person to receive the blessing.   It's time to put our guards down.  It is time to allow Love to come to us in its variety of forms. The very thing we try to block is the very thing we fear.  Let that fear go and the blocks are gone.  Open up and  allow God to flow through you, to express through and as you, today.  Receive.  Be receptive. Be open.  Breathe... 

Today, I am open and receptive to receiving my good in Joy!

Fat and Sexy?

BBW Art Jewelry by Dari Walker

Today I was reading Colin Tipping’s blog on Weight Loss and Body Issues. I love his work on Radical Forgiveness.  Nothing new, nothing I hadn’t read before.  In it he said weight or excess weight functions as protection from generalized hurt and rejection, but most frequently it is used to protect from imagined or real sexual attack. Louise Hay, a leader in the New Thought, self-help community, in her book You Can Heal Your Life, also says the excess weight is a form of fear, running away from feelings, insecurity, self-rejection and seeking fulfillment.  Ernest Holmes in Science of Mind states obesity is an expression of a person’s mentality that is filled with unexpressed longings, which he is trying to sublimate. Notice none of these people suggested that the reason for being fat is eating too many donuts, or saturated fat and any of the other stuff we have been bombarded with by the weight loss industry and even First Lady Michelle Obama. 

Believing that everything I see is a manifestation of thought (check out the Kybalion or even the Bible) and being a student of the Spirit Mind Body connection school, I know excess weight represents much more than extra calories and lack of exercise. 

Colin Tipping wrote in his blog “the mind reasons that being physically attractive is a risky proposition, so the best way to ward off physical advances is by making oneself decidedly unattractive.  What better way to become sexually unattractive than to be obese?”  Whoa?  This statement disturbed me.  All my spiritual training and enlightenment went out the door.  I started writing a scathing response to his statement.  My response included links to igigi.com, plusmodelmag.com, madisonplus.com, gabifresh.com, thebodyisnotanapology.com and a load of other websites I love and wished to God that they were around when I was a teenager over 25 years ago.  I wanted him to see Fluvia Lacerda, Anansa Sims, Mia Amber Davis, and a slew of everyday women, including myself, in my hometown, Washington, DC.  I wanted to prove to him that he was wrong and to show him what his erroneous thoughts had him missing. 

Why was I having so much energy around this statement? Why did I care?  Over the years I have learned that if I have a lot of energy around something that a person says, especially if outwardly I disagree with the statement, on some subconscious level I am agreeing with it.  Noooooo!!!!, I didn’t what to admit this, not while reading his blog.

Growing up as the only fat kid in damn near every place I went, home, school, family outings, I thought I was now in a place where my self-esteem was fully intact.  What was my anger around Tipping’s statement telling me, showing me? While walking my dog, the answer clearly came to me.

On some level, I had accepted that as true and even though I had DONE what showed to the world that I believed fat was physically attractive, my subconscious was still playing out this erroneous thought that I had accepted as a child.   And this is what needed to be changed, my thoughts, not Colin Tipping’s.

Whether my body fits within what society calls normal isn’t the issue.  How I really see myself, Angela, the Spirit of God, Angela, the Mind of God and Angela the Body of God, is the issue.  If I see myself as God sees me, then my Spirit, my Mind and my Body shall represent this truth.  And in this case my body will reflect perfect wholeness and wellness, the shape and form, perfect.  So when I look in the mirror and see myself as God sees me, I can’t help but to think that I am beautiful and that yes, I am physically attractive.  

Change my thinking, change my life.  

Be the change I want to see in the world.

They try to make me go to Rehab....

Recently, Russell Brand wrote on his blog about the death of Amy Winehouse.  He said,"The priority of any addict is to anaesthetize the pain of living to ease the passage of the day with some purchased relief."  This statement reminded me of the book I had to read for my Life Coach training.  It was a book about "soft addictions".

"Soft addictions or Purchased relief" can be drugs, alcohol, food, tv, clothes, cable, movies, constantly checking the internet, emailing...anything that takes me away from the joy of the moment of now.

One of the gifts that my brother, who as I like to say, was the image and likeness of God having an experience as a drug addict, taught me was 1.) love is the only thing that really matters and 2.) unless you are living fully present in the moment, you are more than likely practicing some type of addiction, be a soft addiction or hard addiction. So, whenever I hear about someone dying from an overdose or an addiction, it's a reminder to check-in with myself and ask, am I fully living or living fully (filling my life up with a bunch of stuff to pass the time away)

That's my two cents.....

Who's the Expert

Yesterday I heard the meteorologists (experts) say that there was going to be a substantial amount of snow. I heard Dr. Phil (expert in pop-psychology) tell one of his guests that he, the guest, was getting a 2nd chance and that there aren’t anymore chances after that. I also heard doctors (medical experts) theorize a prognosis for Rep. Giffords. And if I would have flipped through the channels, any longer than those 5 minutes, I am sure I would have heard more experts telling me, “like it is” and how it’s going to be.

I started to think and ask myself a question. Who is the expert in my life? Who or what am I listening to? Who am I allowing to determine my present experience of life?

On this day, I claim My power and lovingly create my own reality. I pray:

In this moment, I give thanks. I give thanks for this beautiful day. A day I choose to call beautiful. I give thanks for every reader of this prayer, realizing and recognizing that they are part of this beautiful moment. So, in this awareness of God’s beauty as everyone.
How grateful I am to know that there is only One Power and Presence, this Power, this Presence is God. How grateful I am to know that I am the divine expression of God. In this Oneness, I know that each and every reader is a divine expression of God.


In this awareness of union and that there is no separation, I know that the Creative Power of Spirit is right where I am. The Creative Power of Spirit is right where we are are. I know that this Creative Power is mine and that I can make use of this creative power in every moment. I choose to use this creative power now. I choose to know a world that is beautiful, a world that works for everyone. I choose to experience a world that works for everyone. I choose to see a world that works for everyone. I choose to know that the expert of my life is God. I lovingly know that I have the awareness and understanding to knowingly and lovingly shape my world and my experiences.
I give thanks for this beautiful life. I give thanks for the reader and their beautiful expression of their world, knowing it is all good and all God.


So I release the word into the law of Goodness. I let go and let Love. And so it is. Amen.

I claim My own power and lovingly create my own reality.

Feeling Good

Today I woke up and decided to feel good. Then that voice, the so-called voice of reason, said, “You've got to be kidding. Do you realize what you have to do today? Do you realize that this is going on in your life? Do you realize that you have to talk with this person today? Do you realize this person is in pain today? Do you realize (fill in the blank)?”

I answered the voice back, (I have some of the best conversations with myself), “Yes, I do realize that all of that stuff is going on (I respect the illusion) and it may be my immediate experience. I acknowledge that. And yet, I choose not to worry about it.”

I am not putting my head in the sand - avoidance is a form of fear. When I am in a state of worry, fear, shame or doubt, I feel like crap. I realize that all the crappy feelings make it harder for me to hear my Higher Self. It makes it harder to hear the soulution, which could be something as simple as Peace. So, today I choose to feel good and I use the two things that help me to do it, prayer and music.

And so I look away from what I see with my physical eyes and I look with the eyes of Spirit. I pray:

Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be as God in this prayer.

God is all that there is.

I am one with God.

So in this state of awareness, of Union I realize that everything is perfect.

I realize that in God there is perfection.

In God there is peace

In God there is the simplicity and beauty of life.

And I choose on this day to dwell in God.

I choose to look upon each experience with the eyes of God

I choose to listen and hear each sound with the ears of God.

I choose to express with the words of God.

I choose to feel good and feel connected with my Source with my goodness, with God.

So I release anything that doesn’t feel good to my heart.

I let go of worry, doubt and fear and allow my Self, my Higher Self to speak.

I am eternally grateful for this day.

I am eternally grateful for this goodness.

I am grateful.

I feel good.

And so it is.

Amen.

All is well.

In Appreciation

Even before I took my first breath, I was hooked up. I was and still am hooked up to an Infinite Source, God, who always sustains me. I’m also blessed to have a wonderful family and an awesome group of friends. Today, I wanted to give a shout out to all the wonderful men in my life.

 So to all of you:
I love you
I see and recognize you as divine
I see and recognize you as the image and likeness of God
I am grateful for you in my life

Spirituality and Sexuality

Last year I published a book, Bianca love Sex Tales. I have no idea whether it was good or not. Let me rephrase that. I have no idea if people liked my book. Why? I advertised it only to a few people and an even smaller group bought it. I didn’t give the book an opportunity to be a success. Besides being a writer, I am a spiritual counselor, a Religious Science Practitioner. That’s my main job right now. In a nutshell, I believe that there is a spiritual solution (Truth) to every problem. And it’s my job to assist people in getting to that Truth, a Truth that is always within them. Here I am a “spiritual” counselor and an “erotica” writer, or as my mother calls it a “smut” writer.

I told someone about my book the other day. She asked could she get a copy. I told her that I wasn’t selling it anymore. Her next question was why not? My answer was that I hadn’t reconciled being a “spiritual” life coach and “erotica” writer. So, I gave up on the writing. By the way, my writings don’t use a lot of flowery words when describing the sexual acts in the stories, some might even call it porn.

Lately, I had had some health challenges in my reproductive area. For anyone who knows about chakras, this is the 2nd chakra. The Sanskrit name for the 2nd chakra is "Svadhisthana". This word means, "dwelling place of the Self." This is the energy area in your body that is associated with creativity and procreation. It is located in the lower abdomen, about an inch below the navel. It also governs emotional and sensual aspects of our lives. The emotion associated with the 2nd chakra is passion

There was my answer. There were the reasons behind the health challenges. There was a block in this area and I knew exactly where the block had come from. I hadn’t reconciled the roles of spirituality and sexuality in my life. I’d shut down a lot of my creative expressions. I hadn’t reconciled that I could talk about God and sex with the same amount of passion. I hadn’t reconciled a lot about these two subjects and how and if they could coexist in my life. Then, I started to think about how a lot of people and how a lot of their health challenges express themselves in the 2nd chakra. So, this is my journey in reconciling spirituality and sexuality. This is my journey of moving beyond “spirituality” and “sexuality” being mutually exclusive and into being mutually inclusive. This is a journey of me living my life from a place of feeling good.